Are you in charge of your life—or a puppet on a string?
For many years, I have worked with personal and corporate clients around balanced living. Few topics touch such a sensitive nerve. Most people know something needs attention, but struggle to find the time, energy or freedom to respond.
We invest so much of ourselves in our careers and financial stability: our time, energy, money, abilities and personal brand. Meanwhile, we juggle the expectations of being a manager, team member, spouse, parent and friend. Somewhere among these roles is a person whose own needs often come last.
When balance comes up in workshops or executive coaching, guilt frequently follows. People explain why exercise has stopped, relationships have drifted or family time keeps being postponed. “I am doing this for my family,” they say. Often, they mean it sincerely. Providing for those we love matters. Yet provision can become an explanation for prolonged absence.
I have always emphasised that balance does not mean dividing our personal resources equally between every area of life. Life moves through seasons, and appropriate attention changes with them.
A newborn baby may interrupt an exercise routine. Further studies may require evenings previously spent with family. Establishing a business may demand unusual effort. These choices can be reasonable when we understand their purpose, discuss their effects with those involved and review them over time.
The question is: Are you making conscious choices, or are circumstances making them for you?
The Wheel of Life exercises help people see where their attention is going. Delegates reflect on their satisfaction in different areas, identify what needs care and develop action plans. I still believe in that work. Recently, however, I realised that something essential was missing from the way I bring it together.
In my reflection time, I’m busy reading John Ortberg’s The Life You’ve Always Wanted. His exploration of a well-ordered heart is challenging me to look beneath my schedule, towards the convictions and desires governing my choices. This Christian perspective connects spiritual transformation with everyday life.
Spiritual life is one area of the wheel of life exercise, alongside relationships, physical health, intellectual growth and career. We also explore purpose and identity—but in separate sessions. I realised there is a flaw. The exercise helps people organise life’s different parts without consistently connecting them to the foundation from which we live.
I believe that we are spiritual beings, and our understanding of why we are alive should shape and be visible in every area of our lives. Our purpose and deepest convictions should find expression in our everyday choices. Is this visible in the way I do business, treat my wife, raise my children and lead my team?
A well-ordered heart brings that inner understanding into the way we live. It invites us to ask whether our words, actions and priorities reflect what we believe matters most.
We should place what matters most in the centre of the wheel – who I am becoming and what gives my life direction? Our understanding of who we are and why we are here shapes how we approach every relationship, responsibility and decision.
This article invites you to understand yourself as spiritual being. You may express that understanding through your relationship with God, your faith, or your deepest conviction about meaning, belonging and responsibility. You can explore it in your own language, without being expected to share the same beliefs, but this brings us to the status of our hearts.
When demands compete, what governs my choices? Love, integrity and purpose—or fear, approval, status and habit? I may say family comes first while allowing every work request to interrupt our time together or being absent most of the time. I may value integrity while becoming careless with the truth when my reputation is at risk, or a business deal is threatened. These tensions reveal where my convictions and conduct need to come closer together.
Brian Dyson, former CEO of Coca-Cola Enterprises, offered a memorable illustration in his 1991 commencement speech at Georgia Tech. He described life as juggling five balls: work, family, health, friends and spirit. The work ball was made of rubber and could bounce back when dropped. The other four were glass and could suffer lasting damage.
A focused juggler recognises what is fragile and adjusts accordingly. A well-ordered heart gives that attention direction; our spiritual foundation informs why these things matter. We cannot control everything or guarantee that nothing will fall. We can become more aware, seek help and choose how to respond.
What is directing your attention today—and are your choices expressing the person you believe you are here to become?
That is the invitation to live on purpose.
With love and respect,
Stefan Lessing
Balance starts with what sits at the centre. Talk to us about helping your leaders live and lead on purpose.
Explore more leadership insights in our MCA Blog.
Want more on leading with steadiness and character? Listen to the Mindset X Factor podcast on YouTube and Spotify.