Why are some individuals more fulfilled than others? Why are some families, teams, departments, companies and even countries, effective, and healthy, whilst others just never experience sustainable success? I believe a whole lot of that can be explained if we study values and principles.
Values—whether individual, corporate, or communal—are ultimately personal. They are shaped by our culture, our religious beliefs, our experiences, and our relationships. Some we choose consciously. Many we simply absorb.
The reality, however, is that we are not always aware of what our values are, or even that we have them. Yet they influence us constantly. Every action we take flows from a mindset—a combination of thoughts and feelings—that forms our attitude or bias. That mindset is rooted in what we believe and what we deem valuable. Companies would often have well drafted value statements on the wall in the board room or in documents, but in reality, what happens in the business is not a reflection of their values – without even realising it.
As Carl Jung put it: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”
According to Henry David Thoreau: “There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.”
Whether we are aware of our values or not, we live them out daily, and our circumstances are to a large extend a reflection of our choices and actions. A father may say he values family yet consistently prioritises work. Not because he is dishonest—but because, at a deeper level, he may value achievement or recognition, or might even be doing it for the security of his family
The result is still predictable: distance at home, even though his stated value is family. The effect of that may be children not relating well with him, and or his marriage suffering.
The same pattern plays out in organisations. Enron famously had values like integrity and respect written on walls, while operating from very different internal drivers. The outcome exposed the truth: real values are not what we say—they determine what we consistently do, which ultimately leads to our culture.
Principles, on the other hand, are not personal. They are universal and its effect unavoidable.
Whether one believes in a Creator or in chance, there are governing laws—principles—that operate regardless of opinion, belief, or culture. The most obvious example is gravity. Gravity does not care about belief systems, culture or religion.
A Muslim, a Hindu, an atheist, and a Christian stepping off a building will all experience the same result. You cannot negotiate with gravity. You cannot ignore it. You cannot break it—you can only break yourself against it.
This is why Stephen R. Covey wrote: “Principles are natural laws that cannot be broken. We can only break ourselves against them.”
Principles go beyond the physical. What is true in the physical world is also true in less visible areas of life. There are principles governing, finances, relationships, emotional health, leadership and Spiritual life. They are less obvious than gravity, but no less real.
If we get more practical, we’ll find there are many examples:
- Within relationships we learned that trust builds connection. If I consistently act with honesty and empathy, relationships strengthen, but if I violate trust, relationships deteriorate.
- Financially, delayed gratification and consistency build, wealth. As seen in the life of Warren Buffett, long-term discipline consistently outperforms short-term impulse. If we keep buying what we don’t really need with the money we don’t yet have, we will end up in debt.
- We see in leadership, people respond to how they are treated. Respect and fairness build engagement and commitment; control and ego create compliance and resistance.
- A lack of exercise, and unhealthy diet mostly leads to people struggling with health issues.
These principles operate whether we acknowledge them or not. And this is where it becomes critical:
- Values drive behaviour
- Principles determine outcomes
We are free to choose our values. We are not free to choose the consequences of violating principles. When our values align with principles, life tends to work. When our values are out of alignment with principles, the results expose it.
Constant conflict could possibly be a sign. Breakdowns, in business, relationships or health, could be giving us messages we shouldn’t take lightly. A track record of ineffectiveness is probably a signal that I am living my life and making my decisions in misalignment to the principles that govern success in those areas.
The feedback is always there—if we are willing to pay attention.
I simply need to look at the results of my behaviour.
- Is there health or tension in my relationships?
- Is there growth or stagnation in my work?
- Is there meaning or emptiness in my life?
- Am I consuming more food and drink than my body needs or can process?
Results are not random. They are indicators. They reveal the level of alignment between what I value, how I behave and/or the principles governing that area of life.
The greatest challenge today is not a lack of intelligence or information—it is unconscious living. Individuals and leaders alike act without awareness of their values or the principles they are violating. Most people are not paying attention to the consequences of their actions.
We see on the global stage wars driven by power, fear, and ego. People are led to hate and harm others they do not even know. Division fuelled by labels and differences.
But the same pattern exists at every level:
- In families
- In teams
- In organisations
The scale changes. The principles don’t.
This article is an invite to living on purpose. Pay attention to the principles in life. Equally, become aware of your values, and be brave enough to assess the extent of alignment, through the circumstances that resulted at the consequences of our actions, words and thoughts.
To live “on purpose” means to be conscious of what drives us, observing the results we produce and adjusting our values to align with what consistently works.
As Ray Dalio wrote: “Principles are ways of successfully dealing with reality.”
We all live by values—whether we are aware of them or not. We are all subject to principles—whether we agree with them or not. The question is not whether they exist. The question is whether we are aware enough to align the two. Because in the end, misaligned values create unnecessary struggles. Aligned values create effectiveness, meaning, and abundant living.
The results will always tell the truth.
Love and respect.
Stefan Lessing
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