Finding Hidden Advantages in Dark Times
About six months ago a very challenging 2024 took a negative turn and slowly but surely got worse in our home.
- Three of our five children were involved in separate life-threatening accidents.
- One of these accidents happened when one of our 18-year-old twins rolled my wife’s vehicle in an effort to avoid an online collision. We had to creatively juggle our work and school trips with the help of friends, for weeks before it was replaced with the help of our insurance.
- My son bought his first car with a little help from us, and within the first month had to replace the whole engine.
- My wife was involved in a freak accident next to the sports field and encountered a broken hip. At the age of 52, she is currently in the long process of recovering after a complete hip-replacement. The impact on our household is huge, as she is our family’s operational manager.
- Two weeks ago, my own vehicle broke down, costing us a large amount of money that we didn’t budget for.
- Our beloved dog Jack became suddenly ill and was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer – leading to him being put down. Surely the most traumatic loss, my kids have had to deal with in their short lives up to now.
At this stage, you might start thinking:” I’m sure this guy is making it up!” and/or “Why would he be telling everyone his sad story? Is he looking for attention or sympathy?”
The answer is NO. I am very aware that life is difficult for everyone. The examples in other families have different topics, and in some cases are even worse.
As in private homes, this same reality applies in all businesses, with all teams and all departments. Bad things happen and do go wrong! And like so often the lessons learned in our family units are great teachers of dealing with similar challenges at work.
I have learned that the same skills, attitudes and behaviours that help us cope with challenges are relevant and needed at work and at home. When we pay attention to the affect or impact challenges have on us, and the actions required to navigate them we will discover powerful principles and skills to improve as human beings, as parents, as team members and as leaders.
- Identify all areas that are negatively impacted by the situation.
- Identify resources and people available to deal with the areas affected by the situation.
- Plan together, implement the plan, and change the plan where necessary as the circumstances require.
- Be realistic and manage everyone’s expectations around things changing for the better.
If we as leaders are authentic and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can set the table for team members to better relate to us as human beings. I was surprised in many instances where staff or my family members stepped onto the plate with solutions, took responsibility and helped improving situations. When people feel valued, they take accountability in an effort to ‘help’.
NO challenge leaves us without some form of personal growth – as long we engage deliberately with our situations, pay attention and reflect effectively. In every business crisis we’ll find opportunities to improve.
At the beginning of 2004, LEGO experienced a financial crisis because of poor management decisions, increased competition, and many low-cost manufacturers. They posted a record loss of $220 million. A former McKinsey consultant Jörgen Vig Knudstorp took the reins and led the company to a turnaround, by moving towards licenced franchises. This decision revitalised the brand and increased the revenue growth at the end of the same year to $660 mil, and $5.7 billion by the end of 2020.
Reflecting on the past few months, I’m filled with gratitude:
- My children’s accidents, though frightening, resulted in no serious injuries or long-term effects.
- We’ve ended up with a better replacement vehicle, which Adele loves.
- We’re thankful for our financial stability, enabling us to secure a loan within our budget.
- Despite unexpected expenses, we had sufficient funds to repair my car, thanks to a good month.
- Adele’s journaling has revealed numerous positive outcomes from this challenging experience. She’s identified habits harming her physical and mental well-being, sacrifices made due to busyness, and areas where her impatient nature needs adjustment. This forced pause has given her time to reevaluate, plan, and pave the way for positive changes in future.
David R. Hawkins (1927-2012), an American spiritual teacher, author, and psychiatrist, has said the following: “Life crises, as we pass through them, confront us with polar opposites. Shall we hate or forgive? Shall we learn from this experience and grow, or resent it and become bitter? Do we choose to overlook the other person’s shortcomings and our own, or instead do we resent and mentally attack them? Shall we withdraw from a similar situation in the future with greater fear, or shall we transcend this crisis and master it once and for all? Do we choose hope or discouragement? Can we use the experience as an opportunity to learn how to share, or shall we withdraw into a shell of fear and bitterness? Every emotional experience is an opportunity to go up or down. Which do we choose?”
It is never fun, when things go wrong. Some bad experiences leave lasting scars and make us think twice before we venture into the unknown. But the sooner we accept that something that happened did indeed happen, stop asking “WHY? and ask the life-changing question “WHAT NOW?” You will eventually recognise that there will always be more reasons to go on, than to give up. And at the end of the challenge, we are stronger, wiser and better equipped to face the next.
In every “DOWN” there is an “UPSIDE” to be found! Happy hunting!
With Love
Stefan Lessing