You might have heard the story of the man (let’s call him Steve) who approached God, complaining that his cross was too heavy to bear. God responded that everyone has a cross to carry but granted Steve the opportunity to choose another from the “cross store” of life. Grateful, Steve put his cross down and began searching. Some crosses were too long, too rough, too slippery, or simply too heavy. Hours passed before he finally found a small, seemingly insignificant cross leaning against the wall.
“I’ll take this one,” Steve exclaimed.
“You are welcome, my son,” God replied. “That is the cross you put down when you entered.”
Like Steve, we often believe others have it easier, only to realize that challenges are universal. This truth struck me again during the December holidays when I picked up a self-mastery book for the first time in a while. I had deliberately taken a break from reading non-fiction—given my profession as a life coach, it had begun to feel like work. But The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson drew me back in. Manson reminded me of how much time we waste worrying about insignificant things instead of focusing on what truly matters.
He echoes the wisdom of M. Scott Peck, who famously began The Road Less Travelled with the words: “Life is difficult.” Hoping or praying for an easy life only leads to disappointment. Society feeds the illusion that some people have it easier, constantly reminding us of the burdens we carry.
The Workplace and the Burden of Validation
This avoidance of difficulty isn’t just personal—it manifests in the workplace too. Hours are lost in excessive reporting, meetings, and emails, as staff and managers seek constant validation. External markers like promotions, awards, or bonuses become the sole measure of self-worth.
Despite our own imperfections, we often lack tolerance for mistakes—both ours and others. Unrealistic expectations for timelines, budgets, and outcomes lead to burnout and disappointment. Fear of failure fosters risk aversion, analysis paralysis, and indecision. All of this stems from focusing on the unimportant instead of the essential.
When a company’s why—its purpose—is clearly defined and embedded in a strong vision and mission, and when personal and corporate values align, the result is an environment of clarity and meaning. This clarity allows us to strip away distractions and focus on what truly matters.
Happiness Lies in Overcoming Challenges
I agree with Manson: an easy life does not equal a happy life. Ease breeds laziness and entitlement, while happiness comes from overcoming challenges. Think of the joy of reaching a mountain peak after a treacherous climb—the harder the journey, the greater the satisfaction. Or the fulfilment of crossing the finish line after months of training. True, lasting happiness comes from solving life’s problems and pushing through adversity.
I’ve had the privilege of working with individuals who have faced severe hardships—illness, near-death experiences, and financial crises. In nearly every case, their struggles led to newfound meaning, growth, and unexpected opportunities. A study by the Association for Psychological Science, involving 2,100 adults, found that those encouraged to embrace discomfort persisted longer and were more willing to tackle challenges.
Embrace Your Cross
Be grateful for your struggles, your worries, and your pain… Yes, be GRATEFUL! Accept what has happened and start seeking the opportunities it presents.
Spider-Man’s uncle famously said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” But for those of us without superpowers, Manson flips the equation: “With great responsibility comes great power.”
If we stop making excuses and waiting for things to get easier, and instead take responsibility for the challenges before us, we will unlock true strength. Therein lies our power.
Shalom,
Stefan Lessing
Veritas Quaesitor
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