Research has established that Emotional Intelligence is by far the most powerful intelligence known to man at the moment. In fact Emotional Intelligence is twice as powerful as Intellectual Intelligence. I personally believe that we have so many intelligences that we are still unaware of.

If we were to look at a definition of Emotional Intelligence we could define it as the ability to manage ourselves and our relationships with others whilst living our intentions, i.e. values.

I am sure that you would agree with me if I suggested that it is very difficult to manage something if you are unaware of it.

How then, would you be able to manage yourself if you did not know who you are?

Knowing yourself requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. To get rid of all the “stories” (excuses) that you give to yourself as to why you do not do the things you know you should be doing or stop doing the things that you know you should not be doing, i.e. taking responsibility for your decisions and actions – your life.

Look at these criminals in South Africa that are murdering their fellow beings because they say that they are taking their jobs. Most of these criminals are completely unaware of the fact that they will never get jobs. They are unemployable.

Why are they unemployable? They are unaware that in order to be employable you need to have some value.

Why do they not have value? They are unaware that in order to have value, you have to take responsibility and learn something that will add value, i.e. a skill.

Why do they not learn a skill? They blame others for their circumstance, the government, circumstances, foreigners, etc.  It is far easier to blame others than to take responsibility.

They are unaware of the fact that, for things to change they have to change.Because of this unawareness they will never change.



“Awareness” is the first step to change. If you do not know that you need to change you can’t change. You expect everything else to change for you. You live with this theory of “entitlement”.

“I am entitled to a job.” “I am entitled to education.” “I am entitled to money.” You can’t dem and entitlement you have to earn it.

Many of my friends have come from very harsh circumstances, poor education, housing, sanitation, health etc. Instead of blaming the situation they took responsibility and made the conscious decision to change their situation. As difficult as the circumstances were they decided to change them. Many of these friends today own businesses, give jobs to others, add to their communities, protect the foreigners, pay honest taxes, study, learn, etc.

Because they became aware that they needed to take responsibility for their life and change – Life has changed for them.

As you take responsibility and do the things that are important and ‘right’ for you (your intentions), you grow in your self-acceptance and self-respect. Because you have earned it for yourself you are able to genuinely give respect to others.

The more unaware a person is the more animal-like they are. The greater the awareness of the person the more God-like they are.



I challenge you to take responsibility for your life and everyday do something that is allowing you to grow. You can do this by following this formula:

  1. Make a list of 5 things you know that you are doing wrong in your life – that are leading you away from your goals or away from living your values.
  2. List them from 1 – 5, with 1 being the most important and 5 the least important.
  3. Starting with number 1, focus on each one for a week or two (or  for however long is needed) in order for you to STOP doing what is wrong and START doing what is right.
  4. Write down actionable steps to change what you are doing wrong and to start doing what is right. I.E If you aren’t educating yourself and you know it is important, then you might consider registering for a course to learn a new skill, increase your knowledge or improve your attitude.
  5. Plan daily to work on this new goal

I know that as you follow this formula you will begin to see yourself and your life change. You will feel more at peace and be filled with a greater sense of success, self worth and joy.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below on just how this formula has helped you or leave me a comment if you have any questions.

Continue to stay extraordinary.

Your friend,