So you, like everyone else on the face of the earth, want your life to matter. You want to be a leader who impacts the people who follow you in a positive way. You hope that one day when someone asks one of the team members who the manager was that positively impacted her life the most, to think of you. You want your children one day to raise their children to become adults who are happy, fulfilled, successful, and give you as their parents the credit. How amazing the thought or even more the experience of hearing your child say:” My mom was my best friend, who gave me the best advice.” “If I can be a dad to my kids like the father I had, I would be grateful.” But yet, we are all too aware of the many things we say, and do, that contradicts the person we want to be. We are sometimes caught up in past failures, or memories of mistakes we made… feelings of failure as a result of other people’s opinions of us. And without realising it, we subconsciously create realities for ourselves that progressively look like the person we don’t want to be. But how do we turn this process around? The key is awareness. If we think of becoming more effective as human beings, we need to underst and how the human body, mind and spirit work. Why we do, think and say the things we shouldn’t, and even don’t want to.
The power of positive thinking is an oversimplification of the solution. The same goes for the “law of attraction”. Underst anding why these solutions do work for some and realising the reverse is currently true for those who don’t experience all these positive things, is a very good start. Everything that is currently working in our lives, and everything that is NOT working, is somehow connected to the way we think; that is indeed true. But replacing negative thinking with positive thoughts is not that simple. Dr Joe Dispenza says:” You cannot fix your mind with your mind!” The problem and the solution go deeper. Thoughts are the result of certain convictions, and forms part of a “map” that is a combination of religious convictions, cultural beliefs, experiences and accepted “truths”. This formed over the years as a result of the influence of people as we grew up, and forms part of our memory bank – our current “reality”. When we experience something, these lenses mostly cause our thinking, creating familiar (normal) emotions – causing our “state of being”.
In his book Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins says that the body consists of approximately 28 billion neurons, each a self-contained computer able to process up to one million bits of information. All part of a network of neurons that:
- Interprets info from sense organs
- Conveys messages to the brain
- Carries out instructions
Because of neuro associative conditioning, neural pathways have formed – an automatic and consistent route of behaviour. Dispenza reckons that thoughts are the language of the brain, while feelings are the language of the body. Our subconscious mind cannot distinguish between truths or lies. That is why our body physically responds to situations that are not real as if it is really happening. When we have a nightmare, we experience fear, anger or excitement as if it’s real. Similarly dreaming about a future reality, like winning the lotto, fools our emotions for the duration of the thought with excitement or joy.
The start of creating a new reality is firstly to challenge our conviction of who we are, of what we believe is possible and not possible for us, that are limiting or counterproductive. Why do we believe this? What are our references? Who said it, and who says it is true? Are there references, or facts available that can prove our current reality to be wrong? Maybe there is someone who has more reason to be and to act like you, who managed to transcend the old limiting belief or habit. Who are busy building and creating a life of meaning and joy? Becoming aware of our excuses and realising, we are blaming our circumstances or parents or experiences for the bad things in our lives is the starting point of building a new life worth living. We need to consciously make the decision to accept a new truth. But thinking that this would automatically change our thinking and our lives for good is setting us up for disappointment.
The body is both the challenge and the solution to a new reality. We have to recondition the existing neural pathways with new connections, based on the new truth. We need to feed the desired future reality with the pictures and the possibilities. We have to artificially create moments – fooling the subconscious to “believe” we are already there – experiencing the joys of the new “reality”. Speaking, seeing and feeling the healthy lifestyle, financial success, happy marriage or successful business. We have to make a conscious choice to be influenced more by who we want to become, based on our true identity and potential, instead of the past. For this to become a reality, we need to discipline ourselves to be quiet. To become aware of the negative thoughts the moment they arrive, and use them as a reminder to replace them with the empowering future reality. The following steps will help:
- Stop with what you’re busy with (even for a moment)
- Close your eyes – if possible… Please don’t do that while you’re driving :). It is possible to “close” your eyes without closing them.
- Become aware of your negative thoughts.
- Take deep breaths – through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth.
- Visualise your negative thoughts and realities, leaving your thoughts as you breath out, and the refreshing realities – be it spiritual, relational, financial or physical – arriving with every breath of fresh air.
- Pay attention to the tension leaving your body, and peace replacing it with each breath.
- Start saying thank you for all the small mercies, and joys in your life. Proclaim and confirm the future reality as if it already exists.
- Then ask yourself what you can do today – to start moving in this direction.
This is not a quick-fix! Anyone offering or promising that it is, is not giving you all the facts. But the fact that you are in control of your own destiny is true – this you know deep inside yourself. You have to believe it. You have to do it, think it, say it and feel it. I believe we have been given the power to create the life we want. With discipline and courage – you can become the person you’re meant to be, and build the life and legacy you so dearly want.
Love and Respect